Monday, July 30, 2012

The Errant Testicle


            Have you ever been walking down the street and seen something that you didn’t want to see?  How about stumbling across a picture on the internet of your girlfriend or boyfriend that you’ve been dating for several years?  Well something like this happened to me the other day. No not the picture thing, but the walking down the street thing. 
            I was walking down main street when I saw her walking in the same direction as I was.  She looked fine from behind.  Her hair was down to the middle of her back.  The brightest blond possible before you have to call it white.  She turned at the corner of 5th and Main and I could see her profile.  Her figure was just perfect.  She was my dream girl.  When I got to the corner I knew that I had to continue following her.  I saw her down the street and I noticed her right away as she walked with confidence.  I picked up my pace and caught up with her. 
            “Excuse me!?” I spoke up.  She continued to walk without any hesitation.  I put my head down and stopped and then looked back up.  I now noticed that everyone that passed her was looking back at her.  The looks weren’t what I was expecting.  Everyone that passed her seemed weireded out.  I was now more curious to meet this woman of my dreams.  I kept walking the pace I was walking before.  She turned the corner again and was now on Orchard Street.  I turned the corner and followed her some more.  I ran to catch up with her again, this time getting close enough to tap her shoulder.  “Excuse me? Miss?”  I made it a question, hoping she would turn around and notice me this time.  She did turn around, but she wasn’t the one who was noticing something.  I saw it on her chin and got weirded out immediately. 
            “Yes? Can I help you?” she asked looking at my face.
            “Uh... um...  I was just wondering…” I paused and couldn’t continue.
            “What? I’ve got somewhere to be!” She half-scolded me.
            “I’m sorry… I thought you were someone else.”  I let her walk away as I stood in the middle of the sidewalk and questioned what I just saw.  Was that a testicle on her chin?  How did it get there?  Why was it so hairy?  Why?  Why wouldn’t she do something about it?  I gave up asking myself questions and I walked in the opposite direction back to my apartment to find something to keep my mind busy so I didn’t think of that testicle-chinned-woman.

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